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Writer's pictureBrandon Robbins

What Do I Decide?

Updated: Mar 9


"What don't I know?" is a question that affects a lot of aspects of my life. The things I'm interested in learning about. To lead with the idea of what I don’t know, sitting and reflecting on these areas and allowing questions to form. Hitting barriers of what I can learn on my own, before seeking those who might know more and draw upon their experiences, pose questions and exchange ideas, and receive a different perspective on the subject matter. The growth from that exchange, yet connecting on that level where student and teacher could be interchangeable. Even still, what purpose am I studying, what is it all for? For me? For you? For no reason besides my entertainment. All of those are the right answers. Why study at all, if not for the reason I stated? A good friend said this, and it still rings true

“All questions lead not to the answer, but to the next question. You can only be done learning when you run out of questions.”

All questions are valuable because they bestow information important to us. Since I discovered the Great Laws years ago, I have been brimming with questions. What are they, and what do they mean? Is it possible to make them part of me in a way that I can model them in my everyday life? What would that look like? Why is it important to do so? Who am I doing this for? 


To connect with my heritage for sure. But no one expects me to. There are a few things about my culture I am connected with. I can’t sing or create art in the same way my relatives do. I don’t have the patience interest or dexterity to do what others in my community do. I am so far from my community of origin that it poses different challenges. The Great Laws have given me a lot to think about, challenging the person I am and who I want to be. 


When am I an expert? Is that something I decide? Is it decided on the amount I know? How can I put those lessons into practice? How do I know what is valuable? Is that something I decide? 


Even writing this, I find it challenging because I don't know who this is for. I do write for myself, I enjoy the art of writing and having the words flow out of me, challenging myself with the ideas and insight clogging the inside of my mind and having them spill on paper, showing me what I am thinking. They are important, to me. I don't get to decide what is important to someone else. 


It is equally so with the work I do. I am a licensed professional specializing in mental health and wellness. Am I an expert in my field? Is that something I decide? I could study hard and gain several pieces of paper accrediting my skills to better perform my roles as a helper, or in other circles a healer. Do those make me an expert? No, they don’t. They are tools, without which I couldn't do what I am asked to do. They don’t define how well I perform. Only to give me resources to better form my questions, if what I do could be defined as an art, then my words and insights are what I paint in.  


Even art resonates with those who it's for. Does an artist know the value of what they paint? No, they paint to convey an idea to the viewer to interpret.  Creating meaning, for what they are seeing. That is what I endeavour to do, except with words and questions. Using them to reflect back and so their thoughts and ideas can be heard and validated, accepted. I don’t get to decide if I am good at what I do, I don’t decide if what I offer is valuable, but those who decide to work with me do, having this in mind keeps me mentally humble.

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